Last week I did a talk with psychotherapist Keri Nola on her monthly teleseries Conversations That Matter (listen here), and I wound up sharing things I never had in a public forum—things I thought were inconsequential details that didn’t really matter. Well, the response from the chat room and follow-up comments tell me that they do—they matter a lot. That’s why I decided to write about this today.
So, here it is: I was adopted at birth and grew up in an alcoholic family with wide and sprawling abuse situations and mutual family agreements that kept them secret—particularly on Sunday morning. It created a very potent and unhealthy cocktail of behaviors and beliefs that factored into every decision and choice I made in my life.
I shared some of this through stories in Living the Life You Love, focusing primarily on the behaviors and beliefs and beliefs that result from them, but I haven’t ever deliberately put my focus on it in my coaching business. Now, I am.
Every day I work with people who are deeply unhappy with their lives—and most feel guilty and ashamed about it. Some are struggling with painful relationships and don’t know why and they want relief. Some are trying to break free of family “shoulds” and follow their own dreams, but they’re afraid of “what if.” Others aren’t even sure who they are—and are terrified to take off their masks and find out. Basically, each person I work with is some version of who I used to be. And, also like me, they can’t see the forest for the trees because they’re so twisted up in programmed limiting beliefs they aren’t even aware of.
And, often people may not realize that the problems in their lives are really rooted in old family patterns and beliefs of the past—I sure didn’t. In fact, my learned behavior of “just not seeing” kept me totally disconnected from the fact that I had grown up in an alcoholic family. When my fabulous therapist suggested the possibility, I was highly offended and began to protest vehemently—for about five seconds. Then, like a flash, it dawned on me that every single male on my mother’s side of the family, including my father had been a “drinker.” Wow.
Obviously, one awareness led to another and the onion peeling continues to this day, although now the insights are more of a curiosity. And I love it when they come up, because I know it is yet another facet of how I can be of help to someone else. And that leads me to something else I need to come clean about—what I actually do as a coach and the myriad ways I have of helping clients work through issues.
You see, I’m not “just a coach.” I actually started my career doing energetic healing. On a whim, I took a Reiki Level I class, and quite frankly, it changed my life. I became a Reiki Master Teacher and now, over a decade later, I have training, experience and certifications in a wide variety of areas, including regression hypnosis—I’m certified in Dolores Cannon’s Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique—Tapping (EFT—Emotional Freedom Technique) and many others. The great thing is that because I have all of these tools in my intuitive toolbox, I can use whatever is best suited for that person in that moment. Oh, and did I mention that I LOVE what I do? I love combining the healing work with coaching. In fact, I can’t really separate them because issues have to be addressed on all levels—mind, body and spirit.
We all have our stories, and now you know mine. The photo on this post looks like one of a pampered little princess, and in many ways that was true. But how it looked and how it really was are two different things. So, yes, I was an only child, adopted at birth into an extended alcoholic family where abuse was part of the dynamic. It is much more complicated than that, of course, and so are the ways that it manifested in my adult life. The important part is how I’ve learned to use those experiences and understandings to open doors for others. Because I promise you, if I did it, you can too.
Whew! I feel better!
PS: Please share this with your friends!
PSS: Here’s the link again for the Conversations That Matter talk.
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SUMMER COACHING SPECIAL ENDING SOON!
I’ve updated my ABOUT and COACHING pages to reflect this new information, so check them out! Also, my summer coaching special of five 50-minute sessions (phone/Skye/in person) for $375 is still going on, but it will be ending in August, so now is the time to take plunge.
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Paula Renaye is a certified professional coach, energetic healer, regression hypnosis practitioner, professional speaker and eight-time award-winning author. Her highly acclaimed personal development book, Living the Life You Love: The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation, is endorsed by mental health, medical and other professionals, was named to Kirkus Reviews’ Best of 2012 and is the 2013 Winner of the Independent Publisher Awards Gold Medal IPPY for Self Help. Paula is a frequent expert on talk radio shows and in print media and her television appearances include BookTV.
In 2010, Paula finally left the corporate world completely behind to live her dreams full time and has never looked back. She has three grown children and currently resides in Hot Springs, Arkansas while finalizing plans for a sea move and exciting new beach life adventures.
Training and Certifications
- Certified Professional Coach (CPC)
- Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique (QHHT) Practitioner
- Usui Reiki Master Teacher
- Convergent Energy Healing Practitioner (CEHP)
- Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT-Tapping) Facilitator
- Quantum Touch and Core Transformation Training
- Spiritual Minister (Licensed in the State of Arkansas)
Techniques and Modalities
- Intuitive Life and Relationship Coaching
- Regression Hypnosis—Past Life Regressions and Higher Self Communications
- Energy Work—Reiki, Quantum Touch, CEH
- Energetic and Chakra Clearing
- Essential Oils Healing and Aromatherapy
- Crystal and Stone Healing
- Dream Work
- Integrative Intuitive Holistic Healing
Email me for your complimentary initial 20-minute consultation!