My personal journey of self-discovery and healing began for the same reason most do—I was in pain. I was wildly unhappy with my life, angry and depressed, wishing things were different but seeing no way they ever could be. I swore vehemently that I was happy, yet I complained constantly and blamed everyone and everything for my misery. I created distractions and diversions to keep myself occupied so I could continue to pretend and tolerate. I didn’t know who I really was—and wasn’t sure I wanted to. I wanted something I couldn’t define. I wanted to be me—the real me—but I had no idea what that even meant.
That first look in the mirror was tough, and it was even tougher to realize that I was the one creating my own misery. I also discovered that my behaviors—and the painful situations they created—were driven by deep core beliefs that I had no conscious awareness of.
It was like a kick to the gut to recognize how family patterns of alcoholism, adultery and abuse, rigid religious beliefs and adoption traumas were controlling my life. My devastating divorce, the painful rebound relationship that came after it, my struggling relationship with my children and my inability to get control of my life were all the direct result of beliefs, patterns and programming that I had no conscious clue about.
There were definitely things in my life that needed to change, however, fixing the obvious situations that were causing me pain was only the beginning because they were really just symptoms of much bigger and deeper issues. When I realized that truth, I knew changing my life meant more than just changing the situation–I also had to change me. If I didn’t reprogram the underlying junk that got me into these messes, I would simply find new people to replay the same old dramas with. Oh, it might look different at first, but ultimately I would be right back in the same place, experiencing the same hurts because that was what familiar and expected–it was all I knew. And, I’d be right back in that pit of despair, feeling miserable and depressed, wishing and hoping things would somehow miraculously become what I wanted, and complaining and blaming because they weren’t.
So, I immersed myself in figuring out how what was really going on. At first, the things I came up with seemed ridiculous. “That’s stupid! I know better than that!” But my conscious thoughts had nothing to do with it–my subconscious mind was driving the boat. And to my subconscious mind, those “crazy” thoughts were not only normal, but the law of the land. And, the more crazy thoughts I allowed to come up, the more I was shocked to realize just how thoroughly those illogical unconscious limitations and restrictions had been controlling my life–and how they could stop.
Untangling the unconscious connections took time, but one step led to another, and I eventually found my way through that dark tunnel and out into the light. The insights, information, understanding and techniques that I have learned along the way added a richness to my life and led me to where–and who–I am today.
I know what it’s like to be in the depths of despair, wishing for a magic fix for my life and my pain and seeing no way that anything could ever change. I know what it feels to want to be free of the driving emotions that kept me trapped repeating old patterns–I wanted to break free, but I didn’t know how.
I knew there was someone inside me–my authentic self–who wasn’t controlled by crazy fears and obsessive thoughts, someone whose life didn’t depend on the whims of others. I wanted to find her–and free her.
It wasn’t an easy journey because I didn’t have a guide. Most of the time I was just grasping whatever book or technique I could find, hoping something in it would somehow “stick” and I would change. Well, I did change, but it took a loooong time and a lot of unnecessary grief. It doesn’t have to be that way for you. I know things I didn’t back then as well as some incredible techniques that pull things up gently from the subconscious and release them quickly. Oh, how I wish (!) I’d had those back when!
The good news is that I have them now–and so do you. I’ve seen miraculous shifts as one small door opens and light floods in. The dots connect and healing happens–just like that. Things I spent years trying to get clarity on shift miraculously before my eyes.
That’s why I consider the work I do today a sacred calling–my sacred calling. My work fulfills me and feeds my soul in a way nothing ever has and I wake up grateful every day for the life I now live and love. You can have that too. You just have to want it.
Thank you for reading this and sharing my journey!
2017 UPDATE: My journey has taken some unusual turns. Some have been challenging to say the least. The result of these life-changing events, however, is that I have more peace, contentment and joy in my life than ever. Yes, it’s a longer story and I will eventually give a better update. For now, just know that no one is immune to life. It happens. And even when things look really bad, you can learn a lot about yourself and what is really important–and most especially who.
CPC CECP RMT QHHT CEHT
Paula Renaye is a Certified Professional Coach, Intuitive and Energetic Healer and Award-Winning Author.
Paula provides gentle and compassionate guidance for self-healing through a wide range of modalities, including metaphysical, energetic, inner child and real-world practical coaching. In addition to being certified as a professional coach, she is a Certified Traditional Usui Reiki Master Teacher, Certified Emotion Code Practitioner and Certified Quantum Healing Hypnosis Therapy Practitioner (regression hypnosis and Higher Consciousness communications).
Paula is a professional speaker and author and has won eight national book awards for personal development. Her latest award-winning book, Living the Life You Love: The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation, is available worldwide in English, Spanish and Chinese, and will soon be released in India, Pakistan, Nepal and other regions. Living the Life You Love is recommended by therapists and other professionals with endorsements such as, “All the benefits of serious therapy in one book!” Paula is a frequent expert on talk radio shows and in print media and her television appearances include BookTV.
Training and Certifications
Certified Professional Coach (CPC)
Certified Emotion Code Practitioner (CECP)
Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique Practitioner (QHHT)
Usui Traditional Reiki Master Teacher (RMT)
Convergent Energy Healing Trainer (CEHT)
EFT Facilitator (Emotional Freedom Technique–Tapping)
Quantum Touch and Core Transformation Training
Intuitive Development & Health Intuitive Training, International Academy of Intuitive Arts
Crystal Healing & Intuitive Development Training
Spiritual Minister (Licensed in the State of Arkansas)
Techniques and Modalities
- Intuitive Readings
- Energetic Clearings for Emotional and Physical Healing
- Life and Relationship Coaching
- Regression Hypnosis—Past Life Regressions and Higher Self Communications
- Energy Work—Reiki, Quantum Touch, CEH
- Essential Oils Healing and Aromatherapy
- Crystal and Stone Healing
- Dream Work
- Integrative Intuitive Holistic Healing
Self-Esteem & Self-Worth
Abandonment & Betrayal
Codependency & Boundary Issues
Adult Children of Alcoholics
Healing for Inner Child Wounds
Healing from Emotional, Physical & Sexual Abuse
Stress Relief for PTSD
Helping a Loved One Cross Over
Healing from Divorce
To contact Paula, email email@example.com.