I’ve had quite a bit of dialogue–publicly and privately–about my MISTAKES article. It is incredibly interesting how each person took away something different. Some are experiencing similar things and thanked me for being REAL. Others felt bad for me because I have had challenges and some even chastised me for admitting my imperfections publicly.
Well, if I don’t talk about these things—in public—how can anyone else benefit from what I’ve experienced?
Let’s be clear here. I’m a writer and I can make my life sound magnificent beyond belief—and in many ways it absolutely is. But no one’s life is perfect; everyone experiences challenges. I just refuse to be like so many whose image demands they pretend to be basically infallible and, therefore, above everyone else.
For me, it’s about AUTHENTICITY and being authentic will trump image every time. If that means some people won’t want to work with me because I am honest, that is okay. Those who need me will find me—and be thrilled to work with me because of who I authentically am not who I pretend to be.
Being true to myself isn’t a new concept, and yet it has taken on a new depth and expansiveness. Even as recently as yesterday, I had the opportunity to watch my own growth unfold. I had been talking with a woman about a joint project and I felt really good about it—right up until I didn’t. I knew going in what a few of the issues would be, but those seemed to get resolved early. Then, BOOM, I felt the door slam—hard and fast—and it was so clear and so final. I simply stated why it wouldn’t work, expressed my sincere gratitude for the experience and hoped going through this with me would help her avoid issues with others. I didn’t get upset, angry or even disappointed that it didn’t work out. No, I knew exactly what was happening and the only word that described how I felt was elated—thrilled that I honored what was right for me. She didn’t have the same feeling about things, however, which further validated my decision that it was not a good fit.
I knew it wasn’t going to work for me—I felt it so clearly and strongly. So, I didn’t pretend things were okay when I knew they weren’t—that serves no one and only extends the unpleasantness. I spoke truth, my truth, and I didn’t waver no matter what said afterward.
And that is the whole point of the MISTAKES article and this one. When you honor yourself and your own internal voice of guidance, there are people who won’t like it. They’ll get mad at you. They’ll be angry that you won’t do what they want you to. And while that might not be fun to experience, it gets a whole lot easier when you realize they aren’t thinking about what’s best for YOU, only for them.
So here’s the takeaway from all of this. Follow your own guidance on what is right for you and your life. Forget what anyone else says and allow them to not like you—to think you are mean, selfish or whatever “ish” they want to. It’s okay. Because when you are in touch with your inner truth—your AUTHENTIC SELF—and are living by it, you’ll LOVE how that feels.
So, if you’re in a place where things aren’t working out the way you’d hoped, celebrate! Something is shifting in your life too and the sooner you begin to see each situation and person as a teacher, leading you to the next step, the easier things will get. You won’t need to cling so tightly to the old because you won’t be afraid of the new. You’ll see that every door that closes is a blessing that allows you to explore a new one that will spiral you upward even more.
Making this shift is hard and there are a lot of people who will want to hold you back so they feel safe. Don’t let them. Don’t let ANYONE impose their fears and limitations on you. You know what is right for you and what isn’t. Honor YOURSELF. NO MATTER WHAT.