The Ugly Truth

ugly truthA friend is working on relationship issues and sends me links to dating tips, free webinars on how to talk to men and the like. Some are amusing and some have some generally worthwhile—and readily known—tips. Most just turn my stomach. Their heavy-handed emotionally charged tactics prey on women’s insecurities and make them feel worse about themselves.

“If only you knew how to talk to men differently and sent out different vibes you wouldn’t be scaring them away and you wouldn’t be sitting at home alone on date nights.” Sadly, A LOT of women buy it. Don’t!

The real key to success in dating—and life—is being authentic. Sure, learning the differences between the sexes and having effective communication skills are important. HOWEVER, just because you don’t know these “10 Ways to Make a Man Fall at Your Feet” or whatever the latest hook is, doesn’t mean you are unlovable—no matter what anyone says. You don’t need tricks, you simply need to be totally at ease and happy with who you authentically are. Work on THAT!

Besides, how fair is it to use to tricks to hook someone anyway? And what kind of guy is attracted that kind of woman? And when the house of cards comes crashing down, when the real you comes through (and it will), you’ll be neck deep in the very situation you were so desperate to avoid—feeling rejected and unwanted. And, now, as a bonus, you’ll also feel like fraud. That’s the ugly truth. It’s also a name of a movie. The Ugly Truth tackles this topic head on. Watch it—or watch it again. Crazy Stupid Love is another great example. Both show how being yourself—not acting or using tricks—is the true key to authentic connection.

Back to the tempting free dating webinars and such. Some do provide valuable content, but many—most—are glorified sales pitches. So, before you spend 30 to 90 minutes on a “free” webinar or audio program, ask yourself these questions:

  • What am I hoping to get from the program?
  • What experiences, thoughts and emotions are being triggered by the promotion? What’s hooking me?
  • How do I want the program to make me feel? What bad feelings do I want to go away?
  • What am I expecting to change because of doing this?
  • Why haven’t I already taken steps to make changes myself? Or what have I already tried and why hasn’t it worked?

If you’ll answer those questions honestly, you’ll know if the program is worth your time. If it is, go for it! You may even want to purchase the program. Just be aware that most—all—free programs are really about getting you to buy something. And that’s fair—we need to pay for what we value. Just be sure not to get hooked by the emotionally charged tactics of the sales pitch or chasing magic fixes.

So, you ask, what do I want you to buy by writing this article—it is free, after all? I’m hoping to sell you on doing the personal work you need to—right now. There’s only so far you can go on your own or with recorded programs. We ALL need an objective professional who’s committed to our personal healing, who’ll help us see what we can’t and who’ll shine a light through the darkness and show us a way out and toward joy.

And, I’m not asking you to do anything I haven’t done. I’ve experienced profound changes in my own life from working one-on-one with gifted coaches, intuitives and healers. I’ve also had a ringside seat for my clients’ life-changing transformations. I’ve seen dark clouds that have been carried for decades dissolve. I’ve seen so many break free of hidden blocks they didn’t even know they had and become glowing beacons of peace and joy. I want that for you too.

If you like what you’ve read here and on my website, contact me for a free 15-minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit. If not, keep looking, but DO find someone and get to work. And once you dive in fully, you’ll probably discover that getting focused and facing what you’ve been avoiding was far easier and less painful than avoiding it.

And for a little more “ugly truth,” as Clint Eastwood’s character says in Space Cowboys, “The clock’s ticking, and I’m only getting older.”

Again, whether you choose to work with me or someone else, make the choice to do the deep personal and guided work you need to right now.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy!



I’m now seeing clients in two locations in Arkansas (Hot Springs and Hot Springs Village) and am offering a special single visit for $79.

Yes, it is a huge discount and won’t last long. It’s available to phone and Skype sessions as well, send me an email and make your personal and private appointment now. paula @ paularenaye . com

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