I Have Some ‘Splaining to Do

The last few weeks, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my vision for my life, because, well, things have changed—I’ve changed. I’ve made some significant accomplishments and marked some major milestones in the last couple of years—it’s been an amazing time—however, things haven’t played out exactly according to my grand plan and timeline in several areas. And, as hard as it is to admit, I was not happy about it. In fact, I was really unhappy. So, like Lucy, I had some ‘splaining to do. I had to figure out why I let myself get to that point and what I was going to do about it.

I talk a lot about how once the “switch flips” and you no longer see things as you did, everything changes. It’s true, but sometimes the change is so gradual that you don’t even realize it’s happened until someone points it out. Other times, it seems to happen in the blink of an eye.

Several months ago, I had a switch-flipping, blink-of-an-eye moment that was quite surreal. I felt both in my body and out of it—both participating in the situation and watching it play out—as if simultaneously experiencing the moment consciously and subconsciously, or perhaps physically and spiritually. Whatever the case, I knew in that moment that I had changed. A core issue of my life was playing out and I was not doing what I had always done—and I knew I never would again. The switch had irrevocably flipped and I was no longer capable of tolerating what I had before. I had changed.

Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t still have things to learn—I do, and always will as long as I breathe. However, it does mean that I have to adjust my goals a bit to fit my new awareness—to fit the new version of me, the one that no longer has those old feelings and fears to protect.

So, I’m going to share the process I’ve used to clean the slate a bit before reworking my vision and running the new version through the Dream Distiller exercise from Chapter 21 of Living the Life You Love.

Yes, the process requires that you do some self-discovery work, and yes, you have to take the time to write down your thoughts because it just doesn’t work otherwise. Also, the exercise asks you to write lists of five things. You may want to write down a dozen or more to get things moving and then pick the top five later. Do whatever you need to—just do the work and get your insights!

  1. List five things that make you happy (whether you have them now or not).
  2. List five things you’ve accomplished in the last year that you’re most proud of.
  3. List the five aspects of your life you’re most satisfied with.
  4. List the five things, people or situations in your life that cause you the most grief.
  5. List the five things about your life that you wish were different.

Now, go back and explain “why” for each of them. No, I didn’t want to explain “why” any more than you do, but it is essential. Do it!

And if you don’t do this work, is it because you don’t think you need to or because you don’t want to? Are you afraid you don’t know what to write—or that you do?

Hmmm, maybe you have some ‘splaining to do too….

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Reader Mail

I get a lot of great letters from readers and I will be answering a few of the questions in the next few weeks, so watch for those. And, if you have questions of your own, send them in. Real world questions inspire us all, so keep those letters coming and I’ll keep finding ways to get insights from them!

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Coaching… Is it for you?

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Paula Renaye is a certified professional coach, transformational speaker and award-winning author of Living the Life You Love: The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation (see the book trailer here). www.PaulaRenaye.com

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